A lot of people have been commenting (not on social media though lol) that my husband is not as sweet as I often talk or write about. Their basis? He doesn’t give me flowers and chocolates out of the blue and even on special occasions. To which I always ask them “What made you think so?”.
I remember a close friend posting all the flowers, presents, and treats that her boyfriend personally delivered at her workplace. She seemed so happy in her posts. Projecting the vast society’s concept of a “perfect” relationship. If it were a beauty contest, she would be crowned the queen. But behind the façade lies the truth. I couldn’t count in my ten fingers the number of times she wanted to end things with her boyfriend because certain points of their relationship did not meet her expectations. Because he likes celebrities a bit too much for her liking. All the confidence their relationship exudes in pictures hides the fact that there are moments that she was too unhappy with him. With their relationship. I’m not saying that their relationship is in ruins, they are actually doing better everyday. And I couldn’t be happier for them. But a few situations from their story can prove my point.
Which brings me back to my husband. I’m not saying that I have a perfect relationship with him. If I were to be even more honest, there were also times that I feel very overwhelmed with our situation. We fight. A lot. But I don’t really tell my friends about it, even my bestest of friends. I believe that we all have our own ways of dealing with things like that and I chose to keep it between my husband and I. Despite that, I still love my husband. He may not give me flowers or chocolates like what society expects from him. But he always treated me well and doesn’t give me reasons to be insecure about myself or our relationship. And I think that’s enough. He also buys and cooks me food all the time and that’s just as good as flowers, even better if I may say so. LOL
Kidding aside, I have been in the same relationship as my friend was once upon a time. I was always showered with flowers, chocolates, presents, and even expensive meals. But the difference is that she is actually happy with her boyfriend, but when I was in her situation I was unhappy and unsatisfied for a very different set of reasons. What I realized from my personal experience is that flowers and chocolates could never make up for the times that that person has mentally abused me. No expensive meal can ever heal the trauma that that relationship had caused me. So if my husband is not that showy type of person, I’m 100% cool with it. And people should be, too. I don’t really understand why it should be a big deal to anyone to the point that they have to blatantly say it to my face or even behind my back. Which is even worse.
Sometimes, I wish people could see everything. So that they’d see how much trouble I had to go through to be deemed deserving of a white rose. How much hurtful words had to break me into smithereens to deserve my favorite bar of chocolate. The thing is, everyone expresses their affection differently. And if my husband’s only way of showing me his is by doing the laundry, washing the dishes, cooking my food, and taking me out on a cafe date every once in a while, I’d take all that over and over again. Because at least he treats me well and I know he does it all to not make my life miserable after all the good times.